Part II of our amazing Valentine’s Day collaboration post is all about people you may not find attractive in any way shape or form, but we find irresistible. In no particular order, I give you our list of celebrities that you might be shocked to learn make our mouths water and our lady parts tingle.
1. Jack Black (He makes us laugh until one of us wets herself- Adrian- but that’s not the only reason he’s on the list. He’s also got that big, hairy, teddy bear thing going on, which from time to time we catch ourselves drooling over.)
2. Jack Nicholson (If you are thinking “well sure, Jack didn’t look so bad once upon a time,” hang on to your panties because you’re in for a surprise. We are talking about old man Jack Nicholson, in his current balding, saggy jowel state.)
3. Seth Rogan (Something about those chubby funny men that gets us going.)
4. Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka (You know he’s into some crazy stuff. And we really want to get into that candy factory.)
5. Anthony Michael Hall- in the 80′s (Yes, the geek. C’mon, he’s adorable! Plus, we think he would be really grateful.)
6. Captain Jack Sparrow (Sure, he’s wearing more eyeliner than a hooker, has several gold teeth, dirty hair and is always drunk, but there is just something about the way he swaggers around that makes our hearts go pitty patter.)
7. Pauly Shore (Pauly Shore circa 1993 could have had both of us as his personal love slaves in a second… if we weren’t seven.)
8. Betty White (Like you wouldn’t.)
9. William Shatner as Captain Kirk (Because he……. is……. so……. sexy…….in that…… outfit.)
10. Tim Burton (Yeah, he’s got messy hair. We know. Yep, his face is kind of fugly. We’ve heard that before. It doesn’t change the fact that there is something about him that makes us want to just grab him and (_insert imaginative sexy act here_).
11. David Bowie in Labyrinth (Couldn’t explain this one if we wanted to.)
So for those of you who don’t have someone to snuggle up to on this Hallmark holiday (or hey, maybe even if you do), please keep yourself cozy this evening with thoughts of snuggling up to one of the titillating options above.
Happy Valentine’s Day!!
-N.
