Gross-Out!!

I woke up this morning feeling a little strange. Something was wrong with my eye. I rolled my sloppy butt out of bed and took a gander in the mirror. To my surprise and horror, this is what I saw. Brace yourself.

Before we continue on, I feel I must address the issue of how unbelievably hot I look in the morning. Kidding. I look like the rest of you in the morning. Crappy. My hair is a mess and my breath smells like butt. The only thing false about this picture is the fact that I took the time to put clothes on before I snapped a groggy pic. You’re welcome.

Anywho…Clearly something is wrong with my eye. After a quick trip to webmd (I don’t like real doctors), I ruled out pink eye and came to the conclusion that I have a stye. Should go away within a few days with drops and a damp, warm compress. Until then, I get to walk around looking like a less adorable version of Disney’s rendition of Quasimodo.

I bet even he would say GROSS-OUT!!

-A.

Gross out!

Ever see someone on the train pick their nose for twenty minutes straight, then eat their findings? (…no? Lucky you.) Ever step in a giant steaming pile of dog poo that practically covers your shoe and gets on your sock a little? Or eat some milk you didn’t realize expired over three weeks ago? (And I do mean ‘eat’.)

Whether you’ve experienced these, or anything else that makes you want to vomit all over yourself, we have all had our fair share of gross outs. As a regular feature on Two Girls, One Brain, we’ve decided to share with you, our loyal readers,  our own experiences and things we find so disgusting they make chewing your morning milk look appetizing. (Ok, maybe nothing that horrible, but you get the idea.)

For our first gross out post, I’d like to talk about body hair. (I can hear you saying ‘hooray!’) Being Italian, I come from a long line of exceptionally hairy people. To give you some perspective, I have to shave every single day or my legs start to look like my Dad’s. Now, during winter, I don’t shave as often for several reasons. A.) My leg hair keeps me warm. B.) No one sees my legs through six or seven pairs of pants. And C.) I’m lazy. But things are starting to get a little too out of control down there, even for me. I’d like to present you with a picture of my leg in its current unshaven state. (Please keep in mind that this is only about a week and a half’s worth of growth.)

I know what you are all thinking… “Poor Rob.”  And it’s true. Poor Rob must feel like he is rubbing his legs against a hairy man’s legs in the night. Two nights ago he woke me up because in his sleep he was pushing me away and shouting about some lumberjack trying to make a move on him. (I jest.) So tonight, I say with a heavy heart, it is time to bust out a brand new razor and take care of business.

GROSS OUT!

-N.