Do We Really Need A Timeline?

I recently switched over to the “new” Facebook, Timeline.

At first I was like

But then I was like

I feel like a mouse in a lab who was tricked into doing one of those maze experiments. At first it’s like, okay cool there is cheese here. Cheese is good. But then as you are walking along towards the cheese, they suddenly throw another wall up, blocking your path. Fine, you just find another route. Just when you are getting the hang of the new path though, they throw up yet another wall to confuse you. Then, just when you’re starting to get comfortable with the way things are, they replace the cheese with a spinning top, throw a dinosaur in your path and give you a tiny mouse sling shot, totally changing the game. But by the time you realize what the hell happened, you’re dead.

Preeeeetty sure something similar is happening over in the world of Facebook.

Or not.

I don’t know, maybe I got too caught up in the story.

I admit, I thought Timeline would be pretty sweet. And it does have some cool features. And yeah, I’ll probably end up loving it.

But.

It has also made it way easier for people (including myself) to see what a huge jackass I used to be.

(Used to be? Okay, still am. But I’m way better at hiding it on Facebook. My mom’s on there now, bro!)

Do I really need to see the profound comments I made about life when I was a senior in high school? All the boob jokes I thought were hilarious? The awful pictures documenting bad haircuts, drunken college escapades and overall questionable judgement?

I don’t want to remember all the dumb things I’ve ever said.

Everything you thought was safely tucked away in your Facebook past is suddenly going to be back in your Facebook present.

I spent the first thirty minutes or so looking over everything, and mostly doing this

Then I just gave up.

Like that poor dead mouse.

(See what I did there? …Anybody? …No? Okay then.)

-N.

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